Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Another Reason to #MAGA: No More Amy Schumer

Trigger Warning:
Bye, Felicia. Don't let the door hit you on the way out...
I have some sad news to report today, ladies and gentlemen.  Those of you who are considering casting your vote for Donald Trump in November may want to reconsider.  Why?  Because Amy Schumer will straight up move to Spain if Donald Trump wins:
“That’s what I’m saying with the not being informed because those people aren’t informed,” Schumer said. “You know, if you go, ‘Why don’t you like Hillary?’ they’ll go, ‘She lied about her emails. What else is she going to lie about?’ People get one fact and that’s what they latch on to about a candidate. They’ll go, ‘She lied about that.’ I’m like, ‘Well Donald Trump has a fake college. Donald Trump doesn’t pay his workers. He won’t release his taxes.’ There’s never been a nominee that has not released his taxes. I haven’t had a conversation with anyone who doesn’t like Hillary where they’ve had anything meaningful to say.”

“My act will change because I will need to learn to speak Spanish,” she added. “Because I will move to Spain or somewhere. It’s beyond my comprehension if Trump won. It’s just too crazy.”
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Amy Schumer joins a long list of celebrities who have threatened over the last year to pack up and leave town if Donald Trump is elected president.

Of course the arrogance here is that the country is better for the mere presence of these starlets and celebrities.  They're the elites, you see.  These people are prettier, smarter, and just plain better than the rest of us uneducated rubes.  Celebrities know what's best for us better than we do, and they know for a fact that Donald Trump is bad news.

Our problem, however, is that we just won't listen to them.  We persist in clinging bitterly to our guns and our religion.  Don't we know that guns are evil killing machines?  Dwayne Wade and the NBA told us so!  Religion is so outdated, too.  We've got people like Neil Degrasse Tyson and Bill Nye telling us how the world really works, and they're scientists.  Why don't we believe them?

Personally, I think getting rid of some of our vapid celebrities would be a good thing.  Hell I based a whole post around getting people to vote for Trump BECAUSE annoying, A-list celebrities would flee the country in droves.  Despite their entertainment value these celebrities are not the intellectual and cultural powerhouses they see themselves to be.  Amy Schumer ranks well below Kim Kardashian's ass in terms of popularity.  The supposed voids these people leave in Hollywood when they leave will be promptly filled by other Hollywood starlets that are just as pretty, but perhaps just a little bit smarter.

Good-bye, Amy Schumer.  Don't let the door hit ya where the Good Lord split ya.

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