Tuesday, May 24, 2016

#GiveCaptainAmericaABoyfriend Swings and Misses on Twitter

Trigger Warning:
Quick, Bucky, we must bow to asinine Leftist activism!
A Tuesday is just another day ending in -y for most folks.  Tuesday isn't as reviled as Monday, and it doesn't have a sort-of-not-really cute animal mascot screaming its praises on TV and social media.
No.  Leave me alone.
For the Left, though, Tuesday is yet another opportunity to bend pop culture to their will to push an agenda to solve a problem that never really existed.  Thus was #GiveCaptainAmericaABoyfriend born on Twitter.
Why yes, Cap, this whole thing IS confusing as hell!
Why does Captain America need a boyfriend?  Why LGBT rights of course!  Just think of how awesome it would be to have a GAY superhero duo, you guys!
Huh...apparently Batman and Robin really WERE fooling everyone.
Leftist Captain America fans everywhere took to Twitter to sound off on how awesome the idea of a gay Captain America would be.  Yes, dear reader, that IS a sentence I never thought I'd actually type.  

Of course the most popular choice for Cap's main squeeze is best friend and Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes.  Twitter showed that it was a bit, erm, flexible on who exactly should be riding Cap's gravy train, so to speak.
#GiveCaptainAmericaABoyfriend may seem like a vapid, shallow hashtag created to try and pressure a film company to get two hot actors to kiss on screen.  A few twits, however, took it upon themselves to set the record...uh...straight.
That's right ladies and gentlemen.  It's not about getting two hot guys to kiss on-screen.  It's about representation, and being iconic, and...stuff.  Besides, it's not like there are any GAY comic book superheroes out there.

Except, true believers, gay, bisexual, and even gender fluid superheroes have been frequenting the pages of many big name comics for the last 30 years.  The Advocate has a pretty good list of LGBT superheroes throughout history

"Radius you're being completely bigoted!  None of those superheroes has gotten their own movie!  We need to turn Captain America gay so we can finally have that big gay star on the big gay screen!"

So the answer to not having any gay superheroes on the big screen is to change a previously straight superhero gay?  There are over 50 unique LGBT superheroes out there.  Each one of them has their own expansive histories, unique personalities, and titillating love stories.  Here's a thought-why don't we take one of these unique superheroes and give them their own movie?  Isn't it better to create something no one has ever seen before rather than appropriate something that already exists?

By the way, just a little side-note, Harley Quinn is on The Advocate's list of LGBT superheroes.  In fact the Clown Princess of Crime is in an official, canon relationship with fellow villainess Poison Ivy.  Yes, she's getting her own movie as well

In the end, though, I think this tweet adequately sums up the complete stupidity of #GiveCaptainAmericaABoyfriend:
I don't know.  Is it retarded to purposefully ignore 30 years of LGBT comic book history just so fat, gay nerds can justify the thousands of pages of "Bucky x Cap" hot tub time machine fan fiction they wrote?
What are your thoughts, true believer?  Sound off below!

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