Wednesday, November 11, 2015

War on Christmas Starts Early This Year

Trigger Warning:
Ho, ho, ho, bitches!
November's a magical time of year.  Halloween's over, so there's no danger of bumping into an offensive costume.  Black Friday will be here shortly, which is always good for a laugh.  Most of all, though, there's only a few short shopping weeks left until Christmas!  Excuse me, I mean the Annual Holiday Gift Giving Event.  Wouldn't want to offend anyone would we social justice warriors?

In the spirit of not offending anyone ever, the Roosevelt Field Mall in Long Island, NY moved Santa Claus from his traditional Christmas play into something a bit more appealing.  From the NY Post:
A Long Island mall swapped Santa’s sleigh for something resembling a spaceship and nixed the Christmas tree because it didn’t want to “offend” anyone, irate shoppers told The Post.
The Roosevelt Field Mall ditched its traditional holiday village and put Ol’ Saint Nick inside a winter-themed “glacier” instead. But some say the white and blue display looks more like something out of “Star Trek” than “Twas the Night Before Christmas.”
“Santa comes along with a decorated tree; he doesn’t come with a spaceship,” Maria Lovdahl fumed.
The Williston Park mother of two was shopping Thursday night when she spotted the apparently futuristic Santa photo kiosk.
 Here's a pic of said display:

Holy shit what the hell is that?  Is that the bridge of the USS Enterprise?  Did Superman start using AirBnB to rent out part of his fortress of solitude?  It looks like the goal was to create the most nondescript display possible so that shoppers would have to hunt for Santa Claus.  Well, mission fucking accomplished Roosevelt Field Mall.  Mission accomplished.

By the way, the Christmas trees were added only AFTER shoppers pitched a fit.

Great to know the War on Christmas is just something totally made up by paranoid right wingers.  Buckle up, kiddos, it's only gonna get worse.

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