Saturday, September 3, 2016

Breaking: Magnitude 5.6 Earthquake Rocks Midwest

Trigger Warning:
Feelin that booty shake...
A large area of the Midwestern United States was rocked by a magnitude 5.6 earthquake this morning:
One of the largest earthquakes in Oklahoma was felt Saturday morning from Nebraska to North Texas.

The 5.6 magnitude earthquake happened at 7:02 a.m. Saturday in north-central Oklahoma, The United States Geological Survey said. That ties for Oklahoma's strongest earthquake on record, the first coming in November 2011.

No major damage was immediately reported.

People in Kansas City and St. Louis, Missouri; Fayetteville, Arkansas; Des Moines, Iowa; and Norman, Oklahoma, all reported feeling the earthquake. Dallas TV station WFAA tweeted that the quake shook their studios, too.
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The cause of the earthquake was not immediately known.  Some people have blamed oil companies and fracking.  Others have blamed exploding Samsung Galaxy Note 7 phones.  The more religious among us see it as a sign of God's disfavor.

I know exactly what caused this earthquake...and I have documented video evidence:

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