Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Twits Hate Trump - #NeverTrumper Story

Trigger Warning:
The perfect metaphor for #NeverTrump?

I realized two things today, dear reader.  One, shoes that you pump up to jump higher will never make a comeback, and that is an unfortunate tragedy.
Very unfortunate.
Two, it's been too long since I've done a "Twits Hate Trump" post.  The general Trump hate across Twitter has gotten pretty thin, though.  Frankly it's become a bit of a chore to find anything without substance.

There is one place where hatred for Donald Trump still burns brighter than the fury of a thousand suns, though.  A most wretched hive of scum and villainy that's known for its hypocrisy.  I'm talking, of course, about #NeverTrump.

#NeverTrump hasn't gone away just because Donald Trump is now all but assured of the nomination.  In fact, #NeverTrump has gotten more strident, and less coherent than ever.  I've never delved fully into this online movement of libtards, cuckservatives, and weirdos.  I intend to remedy that situation now.

Buckle up, dear reader.  It's going to be a Trumpy ride.
What secrets is The Donald hiding in those taxes?  Liberal use of loopholes to avoid paying the IRS?  Maybe he didn't give as much to charity or he's not as rich as he's claimed?  I heard if you re-arrange every third number it creates a cipher that can be decoded to reveal a message to Satan!
Actually it's pronounced Sah-teen.
Yeah, but the real flowers were poisonous foxglove and kept killing cats.  Seriously the neighbors had a lawsuit ready and everything!
Wonder if he can explain how being #NeverTrump at this stage DOESN'T help Hillary?
Now would this be the same Hillary Clinton that's had to rebrand her campaign a total of FIVE times?  The Hillary Clinton that can't beat a septuagenarian socialist for her party's nomination?  The Hillary Clinton that can only win the Democrat primary through the use of superdelegates?  The Hillary Clinton that literally no one in the country trusts?

Is THAT the Hillary Clinton that's going to beat Trump in the general election?  Or is there another one running?
Okay seriously, what the hell is it with people thinking Hillary Clinton is more qualified than Trump?  Is this being videotaped?  Am I being punked?
Where's Ashton Kutcher?  Is he hiding in the bushes?
RELEASE YOUR TAX RETURNS, TRUMP!!! THAT'S ALL WE CARE ABOUT!!!! NEVAHTRUMPAH!!!
So...how would Hillary Clinton be any better than Donald Trump?  That's the one question I never hear #NeverTrumpers answer.  Wonder why that is?
See above.  You know what?  I think we'll just do a "Hillary is SOOO much better than Trump" lightning round to finish things up.  Aaaaaaand....GO:
  @HillaryClinton I am voting for Hillary, keeping America safe from Trump #nevertrump
Again, no clue why Hillary Clinton of all people would be considered more qualified than Trump.  Maybe she has some shadow accomplishments we don't know about?
No, honey, I don't think we have.  #NeverTrump is swiftly becoming an irrelevant movement.  Maybe they'll peel some votes away from Trump in the general election.  I have a feeling, though, that the #NeverHillary crowd is much, much greater.

What about you, dear reader?  Are you a #NeverTrumper or an #AlwaysTrumper?  Why in the hell is Hillary a better choice than Trump?  Sound off in the comments below.

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