Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Shlubweiser Presents: Real Men of Integrity

Shlubweiser Beer presents: Real Men of Integrity! 

(singing) Real Men of Integrity!

Today we honor you, Mr. Speaker of the House Paul Ryan.
Mr. Speaker of the House Paul Ryan!

You were ever the reluctant statesman, but your country and your party called you to serve.  By God, you answered that call!
I kinda don't wanna do it, but okay.

Then Donald Trump stepped into the Republican primary with his bigoted brand of demagoguery.  The Donald demanded you support him when he won the nomination, but you said "no way, Jose!"

Such a-wait, that's not what he said 3 months ago...

That's right, it's been three months since you shouted "#NeverTrump!"  You've kept your word and stood fast, demanding The Donald moderate his tone or else.

Seriously I have the tape right here:
You've stood steadfast, Paul Ryan.  Even with two-bit hack musicians who can only do crappy jingles trying to ruin your reputation with their lies. 

You're such a freaking douchebag!

So crack open an ice cold Shlubweiser, oh Speaker of Sexy.  Cause when it comes to honesty, you're marginally more truthful than Hillary Clinton.

Mr. Speaker of the House Paul Ryan!
<Shlubweiser is a registered trademark of Shlubweiser Brewing, Co. which is not a real brewing company or a real beer.  This post is a registered trademark of Trigger Warning and I will CUT you if you even think about ripping it off...well, not really.> 

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