Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Breaking: Donald Trump Gives Presser on Veteran's Donations - Full Speech

Trigger Warning:
It's gonna be YUGE!
Remember when Donald Trump skipped that Fox News debate during the primary?  Trump chose to boycott the debate and hold a competing event in which he claimed to have raised nearly $6 million for veterans charities.  A laudable achievement to be sure.

Of course the press being the press-and Donald Trump being Donald Trump-they chose to question how much was raised, and why most of it had not been paid out.  Some so-called conservatives even went as far to call Donald Trump a liar.
No comment on this guy, of course.
Earlier today, though, Donald Trump held a press conference in which he laid out exactly where the money went.  The Donald also explained why it took so long to send much of the money-he needed time to vet the organizations correctly.  Trump also took numerous swipes at the media as well.

Here's the full speech below.  It's 40 minutes, so it's quite a long one.
This will be more red meat for Trump supporters.  They'll have confirmation of what they've known all along; Donald Trump will stand by the nation's veterans.  At least more so than the current Commander-In-Chief has done.
"What, me worry?" -Obama from the 9th hole.

Santa Monica College Students Marry Ocean, Seal Pact With Cthulhu

Trigger Warning:
Ia, ia!  Cthulhu ftaghn!
Hey there, dear reader, did you know that there's an "ecosexual" movement?  I did!  That's why I chose to inflict the following story on you.  From Campus Reform:
Earlier this month, a professor at Santa Monica College led students in an ‘EcoSexual Sextravaganza’ in which participants ‘married the ocean.’
Amber Katherine, a philosophy professor who helped organize the May 14 event, explained to Campus Reform that the purpose of the “wedding” was to bring about a deeper love for the planet through “ecocentric passion and even lust.”
The ceremony began with Bruce Cartier, a former SMC student, proclaiming to those gathered at Santa Monica Beach that “today we stand upon this holy earth and in this sacred space to witness the rite of matrimony between the sea and us all.”
You read that right, dear reader.  These students literally married the ocean.  That beautiful, sexy ocean.

Oh it gets better.  You see apparently after the ceremony students were "urged by event organizers to “consummate” the marriage and “make love with the water.”
Oh, baby, take it off.  Take it ALL off for daddy...
 Here's a money quote from one of the participants who goes by the name of "Serenity:"
“Back when I would hug trees in Santa Cruz, I would sort of ask the tree if it was okay if I hugged it and I would feel their spirit or energy or something give a response back, and then proceed accordingly,” she told The Corsair. “Consent is definitely important. Do you think the Earth would consent to fracking and pollution? Probably not”.
True, consent is important.  Especially in California with their goofy "affirmative consent" laws.  Just be sure to get consent BEFORE you pour the celebratory bottle of champagne in at high tide.  Wouldn't want the ocean getting drunk and accusing you of rape after regretting that wild wedding night.
Pictured: The Ocean after a quickie Vegas wedding.
Oh, and in case you're wondering whether or not I'm absolutely full of it, dear reader, there IS video of the whole torrid affair.  You're welcome.
No word yet on whether or not anyone used protection during the consummation.  Of course it'll probably be a few months before we know for sure.  I'd suggest everyone in Santa Monica keep an eye out for Deep Ones, though.
It's beginning to look a lot like fishmen...
Exit question: notice how most of the women at these ecosexual hippie love-in things are grossly overweight and/or ugly as sin?  Why is that I wonder?

Monday, May 30, 2016

A.F. Branco - Obama's Third Term

Original Post: Branco Cartoon - Hard
Doesn't matter whether it's Hillary Clinton or Bernie Sanders.  Any way you slice it either one is a third term for Obama.  Think the country can survive more of the last 8 years?  Go ahead, vote for Hillary come November.  Vote for a third party candidate.  Stay home and do nothing.

But you damn well better be prepared to accept responsibility for the death of the United States of America.

Sunday, May 29, 2016

Happy Memorial Day

It's Memorial Day once again, ladies and gentlemen.  I've struggled to find the words that would be proper to honor the men and women who have given their lives for our freedom since America was founded.  What do you say, though, to someone who gave their life so you could continue to live yours?  What do you tell the family members of someone who made the ultimate sacrifice for literally everyone?

Nothing.  There's nothing to say that will be able to make amends for that level of commitment to your fellow man.  The only thing you can do is thank the family of the fallen soldier, and hope that your thanks doesn't sound hollow.  

Keep our fallen soldiers in your prayers as you celebrate the long weekend, dear reader.  They deserve nothing less.

All right...so I can't end this post on a complete downer.  I rounded up this rather joyous video for you all.  Try not to cry:

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Twits Hate Trump - #NeverTrumper Story

Trigger Warning:
The perfect metaphor for #NeverTrump?

I realized two things today, dear reader.  One, shoes that you pump up to jump higher will never make a comeback, and that is an unfortunate tragedy.
Very unfortunate.
Two, it's been too long since I've done a "Twits Hate Trump" post.  The general Trump hate across Twitter has gotten pretty thin, though.  Frankly it's become a bit of a chore to find anything without substance.

There is one place where hatred for Donald Trump still burns brighter than the fury of a thousand suns, though.  A most wretched hive of scum and villainy that's known for its hypocrisy.  I'm talking, of course, about #NeverTrump.

#NeverTrump hasn't gone away just because Donald Trump is now all but assured of the nomination.  In fact, #NeverTrump has gotten more strident, and less coherent than ever.  I've never delved fully into this online movement of libtards, cuckservatives, and weirdos.  I intend to remedy that situation now.

Buckle up, dear reader.  It's going to be a Trumpy ride.
What secrets is The Donald hiding in those taxes?  Liberal use of loopholes to avoid paying the IRS?  Maybe he didn't give as much to charity or he's not as rich as he's claimed?  I heard if you re-arrange every third number it creates a cipher that can be decoded to reveal a message to Satan!
Actually it's pronounced Sah-teen.
Yeah, but the real flowers were poisonous foxglove and kept killing cats.  Seriously the neighbors had a lawsuit ready and everything!
Wonder if he can explain how being #NeverTrump at this stage DOESN'T help Hillary?
Now would this be the same Hillary Clinton that's had to rebrand her campaign a total of FIVE times?  The Hillary Clinton that can't beat a septuagenarian socialist for her party's nomination?  The Hillary Clinton that can only win the Democrat primary through the use of superdelegates?  The Hillary Clinton that literally no one in the country trusts?

Is THAT the Hillary Clinton that's going to beat Trump in the general election?  Or is there another one running?
Okay seriously, what the hell is it with people thinking Hillary Clinton is more qualified than Trump?  Is this being videotaped?  Am I being punked?
Where's Ashton Kutcher?  Is he hiding in the bushes?
RELEASE YOUR TAX RETURNS, TRUMP!!! THAT'S ALL WE CARE ABOUT!!!! NEVAHTRUMPAH!!!
So...how would Hillary Clinton be any better than Donald Trump?  That's the one question I never hear #NeverTrumpers answer.  Wonder why that is?
See above.  You know what?  I think we'll just do a "Hillary is SOOO much better than Trump" lightning round to finish things up.  Aaaaaaand....GO:
  @HillaryClinton I am voting for Hillary, keeping America safe from Trump #nevertrump
Again, no clue why Hillary Clinton of all people would be considered more qualified than Trump.  Maybe she has some shadow accomplishments we don't know about?
No, honey, I don't think we have.  #NeverTrump is swiftly becoming an irrelevant movement.  Maybe they'll peel some votes away from Trump in the general election.  I have a feeling, though, that the #NeverHillary crowd is much, much greater.

What about you, dear reader?  Are you a #NeverTrumper or an #AlwaysTrumper?  Why in the hell is Hillary a better choice than Trump?  Sound off in the comments below.

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

#GiveCaptainAmericaABoyfriend Swings and Misses on Twitter

Trigger Warning:
Quick, Bucky, we must bow to asinine Leftist activism!
A Tuesday is just another day ending in -y for most folks.  Tuesday isn't as reviled as Monday, and it doesn't have a sort-of-not-really cute animal mascot screaming its praises on TV and social media.
No.  Leave me alone.
For the Left, though, Tuesday is yet another opportunity to bend pop culture to their will to push an agenda to solve a problem that never really existed.  Thus was #GiveCaptainAmericaABoyfriend born on Twitter.
Why yes, Cap, this whole thing IS confusing as hell!
Why does Captain America need a boyfriend?  Why LGBT rights of course!  Just think of how awesome it would be to have a GAY superhero duo, you guys!
Huh...apparently Batman and Robin really WERE fooling everyone.
Leftist Captain America fans everywhere took to Twitter to sound off on how awesome the idea of a gay Captain America would be.  Yes, dear reader, that IS a sentence I never thought I'd actually type.  






Of course the most popular choice for Cap's main squeeze is best friend and Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes.  Twitter showed that it was a bit, erm, flexible on who exactly should be riding Cap's gravy train, so to speak.
#GiveCaptainAmericaABoyfriend may seem like a vapid, shallow hashtag created to try and pressure a film company to get two hot actors to kiss on screen.  A few twits, however, took it upon themselves to set the record...uh...straight.
That's right ladies and gentlemen.  It's not about getting two hot guys to kiss on-screen.  It's about representation, and being iconic, and...stuff.  Besides, it's not like there are any GAY comic book superheroes out there.

Except, true believers, gay, bisexual, and even gender fluid superheroes have been frequenting the pages of many big name comics for the last 30 years.  The Advocate has a pretty good list of LGBT superheroes throughout history

"Radius you're being completely bigoted!  None of those superheroes has gotten their own movie!  We need to turn Captain America gay so we can finally have that big gay star on the big gay screen!"

So the answer to not having any gay superheroes on the big screen is to change a previously straight superhero gay?  There are over 50 unique LGBT superheroes out there.  Each one of them has their own expansive histories, unique personalities, and titillating love stories.  Here's a thought-why don't we take one of these unique superheroes and give them their own movie?  Isn't it better to create something no one has ever seen before rather than appropriate something that already exists?

By the way, just a little side-note, Harley Quinn is on The Advocate's list of LGBT superheroes.  In fact the Clown Princess of Crime is in an official, canon relationship with fellow villainess Poison Ivy.  Yes, she's getting her own movie as well

In the end, though, I think this tweet adequately sums up the complete stupidity of #GiveCaptainAmericaABoyfriend:
I don't know.  Is it retarded to purposefully ignore 30 years of LGBT comic book history just so fat, gay nerds can justify the thousands of pages of "Bucky x Cap" hot tub time machine fan fiction they wrote?
What are your thoughts, true believer?  Sound off below!

Monday, May 23, 2016

Does Anyone Care About Donald Trump's Taxes?

Trigger Warning:
Original Post: Branco Cartoon - Buried Treasure
Bernie Sanders' wife pretty much bankrupts a small town college.  Hillary Clinton hides the transcripts of her speeches to Wall Street fat cats, demanding that everyone else release theirs first.  All while neatly side-stepping the fact that she's literally the only candidate giving speeches to Wall Street fat cats.
Like, literally the only one.
Hillary Clinton deletes 30,000 emails off her private server hidden in some dude's bathroom.  Hey, at least she cleaned the server with a cloth.  Bathrooms are notoriously unsanitary places, after all.
Remember this one?
Let's not forget that Hill-dawg also lied about Benghazi, sold off a good chunk of America's uranium to a RUSSIAN company, and covered up indiscretions from her husband that would sicken the likes of Bill Cosby.
"Damn, son, and I thought I was an asshole." -Bill Cosby commenting on Bill Clinton.
Or actually...you know what?  Don't show us the tape.
Still, though, pundits and politicians alike are calling on Donald Trump to release his tax returns.  Trump has responded to this in typical Trumpian fashion by telling them "it's none of your business."  Trump has also said he's planning to release his tax returns as soon as his IRS audit is over with.

Here's the question, though-does anyone really care that Donald Trump hasn't released his taxes?  Certainly Hillary, the rest of the Dems, and the annoyingly strident #NeverTrump crowd care.  What about the voters, though?  Does your Average Joe really care that he doesn't know exactly how much Donald paid the government last year?  If he does literally no one out there can prove it.  Trust me, I've looked.
For, like, a solid 20 minutes.  Then I got distracted and looked up lolcats.
You want to know what I think, dear reader?  I think the Average Joe doesn't give a damn about Donald Trump's taxes.  The Average Joe is far more worried about more important things.  Like what?  Oh, I don't know.  How about the horrible state of the economy?  The fact that over 1/3 of Americans are out of work?  The constant threat of ISIS attacks throughout the world?  The importation of terror through indiscriminately accepting unvetted Syrian refugees into the country?  Take your pick, dear reader.  The list is very, very long indeed.

"Radius, you idiot, you don't GET it!  Donald Trump can never be president if he doesn't release his taxes!  It will destroy his chances in the general election!"

Donald Trump is a man who made fun of a disabled reporter, and his poll numbers skyrocketed.  Donald Trump called for a temporary ban on Muslim immigration, and his poll numbers skyrocketed.  Donald Trump had his campaign manager arrested for assault, and his poll numbers skyrocketed.  Donald Trump boasted, and continues to boast, that he will build a wall on the southern border AND make Mexico pay for it.  You know what happened?  HIS POLL NUMBERS SKYROCKETED.

Why in the hell would ANYONE think a little thing like not releasing his tax returns would be the final nail in Donald Trump's coffin?

What about you, dear reader?  Do you care about The Donald's tax returns, or is this a big nothingburger cooked up by libtards and #NeverTrumpers?  Sound off in the comment section.


Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Who Are The Trump Americans?

Trigger Warning:
Who are they REALLY?

Much has been said about the Americans that support Donald J. Trump for president.  Some of it has been positive, much of it has been negative.  Who are these Trump supporters?  Take away all of the media hype, the insults from the Right and the Left.  What does that leave you with.  Patrick Pulatie over at HotGas tried to answer that question with "The Trump Americans:"
Who Are The Trump Support­ers?

Trump support­ers come from all walks of life. They are primar­ily Repub­li­cans dissat­is­fied with the GOP, but they are also Democ­rats and Indepen­dents who also suffer the same dissat­is­fac­tion. Trump support­ers are also the Monster Vote, the people who have either never voted or ceased voting many elections ago.

But even this tells us little about the Trump supporter. So who are the Trump Support­ers for real?
 I won't post any spoilers.  The entire post is definitely well worth the read, though.

For my experiences I've found Trump supporters to be very down-to-earth people.  They're intensely angry about the current state of the country.  Trump supporters are also ardent patriots, exceedingly optimistic, and just downright pleasant people.  I've seen almost none of the racism and bigotry that the media and so-called conservatives tell us is part and parcel of the Trump movement.  Really I've had almost nothing but good experiences in dealing with Trump supporters.

What about you, dear reader?  How have your experiences been with Trump supporters?  Are they exactly like the caricature that the mainstream media on both the Right and Left have built?  Leave a comment below.

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

#AlwaysTrump Because #NeverHillary

Trigger Warning:
Original Post: Branco Cartoon - The Family Business

I will never understand #NeverTrump's insistence that a Hillary Clinton presidency would be better than a Donald Trump presidency, dear reader.  There are two things that are pretty much universally accepted on the Right.  First, the Barack Obama presidency has been a complete and utter disaster.  Second, a Hillary Clinton presidency would, at best, continue the disastrous policies of the last few years.

With that in mind, why the hell would anyone think a Hillary presidency would be a GOOD idea?
Oh sweet Jesus, she's back...
Look, I get that Donald Trump is an unknown factor in this race.  He's brash, loud, and can be uncouth at times.  At best he's fiscally conservative and socially liberal.  Even with all of that I've never once heard a convincing argument as to how a Donald Trump presidency would be worse than Hillary.

Perhaps it's the devil you know versus the one you don't.  We don't really know a whole lot about what we're going to get with a Donald Trump presidency.  That scares a lot of people.  I get that.  Let's take a look at what we know we'll get with Hillary Clinton in charge, though.
  1. Incompetence on the international stage.  Who had a direct hand in Libya, the Russian reset button, and Benghazi?  I'll give you three guesses, but you'll only need one.  The first two don't count.
  2. Remember how Hillary Clinton sold access via her Clinton Foundation while she was Secretary of State?  You really think that won't happen under a new Clinton presidency?  Hillary will sell off this country piece by piece.  America will go from Beacon of Freedom to Beat Up Street Walker That Might Have a Penis quicker than you can say "Monica Lewinsky's stained blue dress."
  3. Scandal after scandal after scandal.  You think the Obama presidency has been scandal-ridden?  The Clintons practically invented the concept of a scandal.  You look up the word scandal in a dictionary, and there's Bill and Hillary's wedding picture.
  4. Economic ruin.  As I said before Hillary Clinton will, at best, continue the policies that have brought us to our knees.  That includes economic policies.  Remember how she flat out admitted she was going to bankrupt the coal industry and take jobs away from coal miners?  How many industries has Donald Trump vowed to destroy?
  5. Bill Clinton.  Nuff said.  We can expect to see a robust expansion of the White House intern program.  Luckily Bill Clinton is going to be in charge of the process of vetting all of them.  It will be a long, VERY hard process, but Bill will grasp it firmly with both hands.
Luckily Bill has an endless supply of cigars.
Again, I've never seen a coherent argument as to why Donald Trump is worse than Hillary Clinton.  If any #NeverTrumpers know one I'm all ears.

Monday, May 16, 2016

3 Dark Truths From the Bathroom Wars

Trigger Warning:
Hold your nose...we're going in...
Previous Post: #FacebookIn4Words?  Biased Liberal Hell Hole

Our nation has been involved in an epic struggle for the last few weeks.  Greater than the fight against slavery, greater than the struggle for civil rights, greater even than the brawl over gay marriage.  The focus of this epic clash of Right vs. Left?  Bathrooms.
Stick with me, skippy.
You see, dear reader, we've been extremely discriminatory towards men and women transitioning from men into women and women into men.  The Left feels that a man who feels like a woman should be able to use the same bathroom as the women who feel like women and the woman who feels like a man should be able to use the same bathroom as the men who feel like women who actually are men but are also into women.
I...uh...got confused towards the end...
Anyway, those of us on the Right (and some on the Left) feel that men and women should use the bathroom of their biological sex.  Men should use the men's room, and women should use the women's room regardless of what gender they identify with.  
Oh shut up...
Shockingly parents are uncomfortable with their children showering and using the toilet with biological members of the opposite sex.  Perhaps even more shocking is the fact that women really don't feel comfortable with using the same bathrooms as people who are biologically male.  Of course the Left really doesn't give a shit about all that.  Transgender bathrooms are the next Great Frontier of Social Justice.  We all need to shut the hell up and accept that all bathrooms everywhere will be unisex.  Anyone raising any sort of objection to this is an evil, heartless bigot.  Dissent WILL NOT be tolerated.
Embrace the gender confusion, comrade.
Of course there are a few aspects of this whole kerfuffle that the Left is (willfully) ignoring.  Okay, there are more than a few truths.  Hell the ignorance of the Left on this subject could be a whole series of posts.  I'm only going to touch on three dark, terrible truths of the Bathroom Wars...for now.

1. It's Not About Transgendered People

You may not believe this, dear reader, but most conservatives-hell, most people-don't give a damn about whether or not someone is transgendered.
Ok, seriously?  Someone get her out of here.
It's true.  Most people aren't obsessed with labeling everyone like the Left is.  We recognize that a person is a person, whether they're black, white, gay or transgendered.  It doesn't matter if a man thinks he needs to live as a woman or a woman thinks she needs to live as a man.  Most people will judge another person based on their actions.  If someone treats us well we tend to treat that person well.  If someone acts like an asshole then surprise surprise, they get treated like an asshole.  Doesn't matter if they're transgendered or not.  We literally could not care less.

Which brings us to the second dark, terrible truth...

2. It IS About Safety

There are some real assholes out there, dear reader.  I know that comes as something of a shock, but stay strong.  There are evil people in the world that are looking at this whole Bathroom War and licking their chops.  They're thinking "finally, I can go into a women's bathroom, do some taping, do some raping, and it's LEGAL!"  All these fetid piles of shit need to do is put on a dress, grab their video camera, and waltz on down to their local Target store to get their sick little rocks off.
"Oh please, Radius, you're completely paranoid.  Transgendered people aren't looking to sexually assault anyone!  Don't use your fear to cover up your bigotry!"

First off, I know transgendered people aren't looking to assault anyone.  Way to completely miss the point, douchebag.  The point is there are men out there who are looking at the Bathroom Wars as an opportunity.  These subhuman scum see this whole mess as an opportunity to go into the women's bathroom without any consequences.  Who's going to stop them?  Anyone who tries is automatically stigmatized as a bigot.  President Obama's recent executive order regarding restrooms in schools literally makes it completely legal for a pervert to be in the same bathroom as your daughter.

Paranoid?  Not really, dear reader, because this is already happening.  Breitbart has over 25 examples of perverts taking advantage of the current climate.  I'm sure this is just the tip of the iceberg, dear reader.

"Oh come on, Radius, you're just stigmatizing transgenders!  BIGOT!"

Typing in all caps doesn't make you right.  This isn't an indictment of transgenders.  This is an indictment of MEN.   You see men are the danger here.  It's men that are dressing up as women and pretending to be men dressing up as women.
You heard me.  Seriously, someone get her the hell out of here.
THAT is the concern here, dear reader.  Women aren't necessarily uncomfortable sharing the same space as a transgender.  They're uncomfortable sharing the same space with men that are pretending to be transgendered.  There's a very real danger of these transgendered women being actual men with male desires and evil intentions.  Dismissing that concern as bigotry is not only intellectually dishonest, it marginalizes women everywhere.

Which brings me to the third, and final, dark, horrible, TERRIBLE truth...

3. The Left Doesn't Care About Women

Hundreds of thousands of women and girls across the country expressed outrage and concern as soon as schools and businesses started instituting transgender bathroom policies.  These women cried out in concern for not only their safety, but the safety of their daughters as well.  What was the almost universal response of the Left?
BIGOT!  HATEMONGER!  STOP USING YOUR KIDS TO SPREAD HATE!

Major retailer Target declared their bathrooms and changing areas totally open to men, women, and transgenders.  The nationwide backlash resulted in a petition to boycott Target gaining over 1 million signatures.  Target's stock price fell, and as of this writing the company has lost over $4 billion in just a few weeks.  Again women across the country expressed concern for their safety.  I'll give you three guesses as to the Left's reaction to women's fears.  You're only going to need one, though.
Hint: it rhymes with "fatemonger."
If you guessed "touching concern and understanding" congratulations, you failed horribly!  Target CEO Brian Cornell went on CNBC to defend his company's transgender bathroom policy.  Cornell saw the hundreds of thousands of customers begging him to change his company's policy.  He saw them, and gave them a big, friendly "fuck you."  Cornell then entered his name for consideration in the "Worst CEO in America" contest.  I'll have the results of that contest in a future post.

All of this has proven something that conservatives have been saying for years: the Left does not give a shit about women.  
Not even a little bit.
The Left would listen to women's concerns if they really, truly cared.  There would be the sort of "national dialogue" on transgender bathrooms that the Left is always telling us we need to have.  Instead, the second women try to have a discussion they're immediately slandered.  Bigot.  Hatemonger.  Evil.  Fascist.  These are all names that have been applied to women concerned for their safety.  Strike that this is the Left calling concerned mothers, sisters, grandmothers, and wives hateful bigots.  What kind of message does that send?

The Left has proven that they only care about women insofar as caring about women supports their agenda.  Women get kicked to the curb the second their concerns conflicts with the progressive agenda.  This is bigger than women, you see.  Transgender bathrooms are about elevating a supposedly oppressed underclass of people.  Women are no longer the trendy underclass.  They're not as important as transgenders.  Women's rights matter less than what bathroom a transgender man or woman gets to use.

That is the real tragedy in all of this, dear reader.  The fact that women are being marginalized by the very people who claim to want to help them the most.
Oh for...that's it, I can't work like this.  If anyone needs me I'll be in my trailer.
What about you, dear reader?  What's your take on all of this?  Hit me up in the comment section below.

Sunday, May 15, 2016

#FacebookIn4Words? Biased Liberal Hell Hole

Trigger Warning:
Original Post: Branco Cartoon - Filtration System
Previous Post: George Carlin's Epic Takedown of Political Correctness

Hey, how did A.F. Branco get to sneak a peak inside Facebook's Trending Topics division?  No matter, Facebook is, like, totes unbiased.  Mark Zuckerberg himself says so, after all.  If you can't trust the hardcore liberal CEO of a social media website when he says he's unbiased then who can you trust?
Next you'll be telling me we can't trust the owners of secret, illegal email servers!
Credit where credit is due, though.  Mark Zuckerberg did say he was going to meet with "conservative leaders" over a period of weeks.  That vague pronouncement should warm the cockles of everyone out there.
It's a word.  Stop mixing Roofie-coladas and look it up ya skeevy bastard.
"I'M NOT CRAZY AND DESPERATE!!!" - Glenn Beck
Of course even that wasn't enough for some people out there.  Breitbart tech editor, snappy dresser, and Dangerous Faggot Milo Yiannopolous called out Zuckerberg, challenging him to a live debate on his show.  Milo also offered to move the debate to Zuckerberg's Facebook Live platform as an acceptable alternative.  Take a look at the video challenge Milo uploaded to YouTube:
No word yet on whether or not Zuckerberg has accepted Milo's challenge. Word of advice Mark, bring...uhh...lots of...hair gel to your meeting?  I honestly don't know what Milo would like.
IDK...the TRUTH maybe?
I want to hear from YOU, though, dear reader.  What's been your experience with Facebook?  Is the platform biased as hell, or is it all the fault of the shadowy algorithms that control our lives?  Is Zuckerberg doing enough to dispel the perception of bias?

What about it, dear reader?  Leave your comments below.

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

George Carlin's Epic Takedown of Political Correctness

Trigger Warning:
Get ready for the master at work.
Previous Post: Shlubweiser Presents: Real Men of Integrity

I thought we could take a little break from politics to watch a take down of political correctness by none other than George Carlin.  Enjoy:
I didn't always agree with his politics, but no one can deny that George Carlin was the man.  Epic takedown.

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Shlubweiser Presents: Real Men of Integrity

Shlubweiser Beer presents: Real Men of Integrity! 

(singing) Real Men of Integrity!

Today we honor you, Mr. Speaker of the House Paul Ryan.
Mr. Speaker of the House Paul Ryan!

You were ever the reluctant statesman, but your country and your party called you to serve.  By God, you answered that call!
I kinda don't wanna do it, but okay.

Then Donald Trump stepped into the Republican primary with his bigoted brand of demagoguery.  The Donald demanded you support him when he won the nomination, but you said "no way, Jose!"

Such a-wait, that's not what he said 3 months ago...

That's right, it's been three months since you shouted "#NeverTrump!"  You've kept your word and stood fast, demanding The Donald moderate his tone or else.

Seriously I have the tape right here:
You've stood steadfast, Paul Ryan.  Even with two-bit hack musicians who can only do crappy jingles trying to ruin your reputation with their lies. 

You're such a freaking douchebag!

So crack open an ice cold Shlubweiser, oh Speaker of Sexy.  Cause when it comes to honesty, you're marginally more truthful than Hillary Clinton.

Mr. Speaker of the House Paul Ryan!
 
<Shlubweiser is a registered trademark of Shlubweiser Brewing, Co. which is not a real brewing company or a real beer.  This post is a registered trademark of Trigger Warning and I will CUT you if you even think about ripping it off...well, not really.> 

Breaking News: Ted Cruz Restarting His Campaign?

Trigger Warning:
Once more unto the breach?
You might remember Ted Cruz suspending his presidential campaign last week.  This came after several disastrous showings in several states, culminating in a landslide win for Donald Trump in Indiana.  After being schlonged so vigorously Ted Cruz and his "running mate" Carly Fiorina decided to suspend the campaign.

Or did they?
That's Ted Cruz on the Glenn Beck Program earlier today.  He's asked if he would restart his campaign if, by some quirk of fate, he happens to win the Nebraska primary today.  Ted Cruz didn't explicitly say that he WOULD restart, but he's not ruling it out either.

It's worth noting that Ted Cruz SUSPENDED his campaign last week.  He didn't drop out of the race entirely.  A candidate who merely suspends his campaign can still raise money, and he generally keeps his delegates.  The only time I can remember a presidential campaign being suspended and restarted was when John McCain suspended his in 2008 to vote on the stimulus bill.  That's partly why he lost that election.
But he's a douchebag, so he still blames it on the woman.
I fail to see how winning anything in Nebraska would give Ted Cruz a "path to victory."  He can't get anywhere close to the magic number of 1237, and the GOP is already starting to coalesce behind Donald Trump.  Ted's only hope would be to ensure a contested convention, then hope he wins on the second ballot.  Would that happen?  Doubtful, although this has been one crazy election season.

My advice?  Stay tuned.  Ted Cruz's announcement is going to keep things interesting at the very least.

What Kind of News is Facebook Censoring?

Trigger Warning:
This Trigger Warning suppressed by Facebook.
Oh my, there are shenanigans going on at Facebook?  That's what the tech website Gizmodo reported yesterday.  According to several former Facebook employees, the company has a policy of ensuring that certain types of news stories don't make it onto their trending list.  What kind of news stories?  Why anything that's even remotely conservative, of course:
Facebook workers routinely suppressed news stories of interest to conservative readers from the social network’s influential “trending” news section, according to a former journalist who worked on the project. This individual says that workers prevented stories about the right-wing CPAC gathering, Mitt Romney, Rand Paul, and other conservative topics from appearing in the highly-influential section, even though they were organically trending among the site’s users.
Oh my, I'm shocked.  Shocked I tell you!
Well, not that shocked.  Gizmodo editor Michael Nunez was on CBS This Morning today to talk about the story:
Is anyone really surprised by any of this?  Show of hands if you are.

Yeah I didn't think so.

Sunday, May 8, 2016

The Big Fish

Previous Post:

Oh my, it seems that an even bigger fish has its eyes set on Republican presidential candidate Donald J. Trump:
A few changes I would make, here:

1. The Kasich fish needs to be eating something.  After all, we've seen how John Kasich loves taking YUGE bites of food in front of the press.

2. Keep the MSM fish the same size.  Turn the Trump fish into a fisherman instead.  We all know Trump plays the media like the devil playing a gold fiddle.  If anything Donald Trump says something outrageous to hook the media, then reels them in and reaps the free coverage.

Love the little Hillary Clinton leaching off the media fish.  That's her to a tee.
Just look at that leech-like cackle...
Original Post: Branco Cartoon - Jaws

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