Happy #EqualPayDay Everyone!

Trigger Warning:
So beautiful, yet so underpaid...
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Hey, guys, have you heard the news?  It's #EqualPayDay!  What?  You've never heard of #EqualPayDay you say?  It sounds like some sort of liberal, hippy bullshit you say?  Nonsense!  #EqualPayDay is a magical day where the entire country celebrates equality in the workforce.  It's a day when men AND women everywhere come together to reflect on just how far the women's rights movement has come.  

Wait, what?  That's NOT what #EqualPayDay is all about?  You say #EqualPayDay actually is supposed to represent how long women had to work to make up last year's wage gap?  Hold on one second.  That wage gap thing has been debunked by numerous sources as being nothing more than liberal hokum.  Take this article from the Wall Street Journal, for example:
But a closer look reveals a different picture. The Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) notes that its analysis of wages by gender does “not control for many factors that can be significant in explaining earnings differences.”
What factors? Start with hours worked. Full-time employment is technically defined as more than 35 hours. This raises an obvious problem: A simple side-by-side comparison of all men and all women includes people who work 35 hours a week, and others who work 45. Men are significantly more likely than women to work longer hours, according to the BLS. And if we compare only people who work 40 hours a week, BLS data show that women then earn on average 90 cents for every dollar earned by men.
Career choice is another factor. Research in 2013 by Anthony Carnevale, a Georgetown University economist, shows that women flock to college majors that lead to lower-paying careers. Of the 10 lowest-paying majors—such as “drama and theater arts” and “counseling psychology”—only one, “theology and religious vocations,” is majority male.

Conversely, of the 10 highest-paying majors—including “mathematics and computer science” and “petroleum engineering”—only one, “pharmacy sciences and administration,” is majority female. Eight of the remaining nine are more than 70% male.
Or this one from the Washington Examiner:
Women earn just 77 or 78 cents to the dollar that men earn.
That line is thrown around so often it must be true, right? As with most outrageous statistics, the shock disappears when you do even a bit of research into its background.
I first heard the claim when I was about 10 years old. My friend's mom told us, apropos of nothing, that men earn more than women simply for being men. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but looking back I see how absurd such a suggestion was. For that to be true, there would be no point to hiring men at all. Employers could just hire all women and cut salary costs by 25 percent.
Which of course isn't happening, because the wage gap isn't some undocumented rule governing America's businesses. The wage gap actually comes from the different career choices men and women make on aggregate — whether it be the hours they work or the occupation they choose.
 None of that matters, you say?  Liberals still use #EqualPayDay to push the myth that women are paid less than men for the same amount of work?  You know what, this is ridiculous.  No one can be that stupid.  #EqualPayDay is trending on Twitter right now.  Let's take a look at what everyone's saying.  You'll see this holiday is about the celebration of equality.  Not reminding women that they're victims simply for being women.
So the only way to ensure equal pay for equal work is by paying a large portion of your paycheck to an organization that will funnel that money into the campaign coffers of Democrats.  Interesting.
That's true, it's not right.  Or it wouldn't be if that was a factually correct statement.  Still, though, fight the power!  Even if that oppressive power doesn't really exist.
Actually that seems like a rather sensible conversation to have.  Wouldn't you WANT to make sure you could afford to have only one parent working?
Apparently mermaid breasts have magical powers with regards to women and how much they're paid.  Who knew?
The only way to ensure equal pay for equal work is to vote Democrat and pass new regulations.
If you're company doesn't have equal pay you might want to call the authorities.  Since, you know, actually paying women less than men for the same amount of work is illegal.  Has been ever since John F. Kennedy signed the Equal Pay Act in 1963.
Of course if you're a woman working for this guy you actually DO get paid less...
Okay.  I'm not sure what's going on here.  Cute top, though.
$500 billion, eh?  That's a whole lotta guac.
Oh come on, make up your damn minds.  Is it $500 billion or $800 billion?
Just go ahead and leave.  I'm sure your boss will understand.  On an unrelated note let me know where you used to work and how much you used to get paid.  You know, seeing as how your company will have a job opening shortly.

All right, I get it.  It turns out #EqualPayDay really is just a way for liberals to perpetuate the myth that women are paid less than men for the same amount of work.  #EqualPayDay just serves as yet another way to remind women that they are victims simply because they happen to have a vagina.  

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