Saturday, April 23, 2016

UPDATE: Pastor Admits He Faked Anti Gay Cake

Trigger Warning:
Turns out the cake IS a lie...
I'm sure you've all heard of the latest Cakegate incident.  A gay pastor in Austin, TX went into a Whole Foods and ordered himself a custom cake.  On the top of the cake he wanted the bakery to write "Love Wins."  This request, of course, was not suspicious in ANY way.

The pastor, Jordan Brown, took the cake home, and allegedly found this heinous surprise waiting for him:
The horror!  Whole Foods is supposed to be a liberal mecca filled with tasty, horribly expensive organic treats!  Why would they do something like this?  Of course Brown announced that he was suing Whole Foods to teach them a lesson for this heinous act.

Of course Whole Foods countered that they did not, in fact write "Love Wins Fag" on the cake.  Then they took it a step further and accused Brown of altering the cake and faking the whole thing.  Whole Foods then released this damning security footage as proof of their claims:
Oh my.  Things aren't looking good for our would-be culture warrior.  You can see from the video that the cake is VERY clearly visible through the window in the box.  It would be impossible for anyone to make it out of the store without seeing what was written on it.

Things got worse for Austin's most (in)famous gay pastor.  Whole Foods announced that THEY were suing HIM to the tune of $100,000.  Why?  The usual fraud and defamation of course.

Why would Jordan Brown do such an incredibly idiotic thing?  I'm sure the lure of fame entered into his calculations.  He most likely figured that the LGBT community, and Austin at large, would rally around him.  The talk shows and news channels would be all over him.  Whole Foods would probably settle with him rather than take it to court.

Oh, and Jordan Brown obviously needed a big pay day.  You know, seeing as how he had been sued just a few weeks ago for defaulting on a $27,000 student loan:
"Wednesday, KXAN obtained a copy of the lawsuit from the Travis County Clerk’s Office claiming Brown defaulted on a $27,000 student loan," reports KXAN. "The petition was filed March 11, 2016 by a student loan trust, and said Brown stopped paying on the student loan issued for the 2007-2008 school year at Slippery Rock University in Pennsylvania."
Whoops.  Jordan Brown conveniently left out that little detail when he announced his lawsuit.  Oh, and Brown's church?  Turns out that might be fake as well:
KXAN may have also discovered that Brown's church is itself some kind of hoax. A reporter for KXAN went to check out the address listed on the loan lawsuit and found that it's the same address the website for Brown's church, Church of Open Doors, lists as its address. Though the church's website claims it meets at his apartment's social hub, when KXAN asked the apartment manager, he said it didn't meet there. 
Good for Whole Foods for actually fighting back against this libtard troll.  It would have been so much easier for them to simply roll over and pay a settlement.  Now I can tell you what other LGBT activists SHOULD be taking away from this incident.  They should be thinking to themselves "hey, maybe we SHOULDN'T fake hate crimes in an attempt to cash in on manufactured bigotry."

Unfortunately the actual takeaway will be "hey, let's avoid fake hate crimes at large chains with legal departments and unlimited funds, and focus on the mom and pop shops instead."

Tell me I'm wrong.

UPDATE: PASTOR ADMITS HE FAKED ANTI-GAY CAKE
 
An openly gay pastor who claimed that a grocery store bakery wrote a homophobic message on his cake has dropped his lawsuit against Whole Foods, claiming he made up the story, according to news reports.

“I apologize to the LGBT community for diverting attention from real issues,” Pastor Jordan Brown said in a statement, according to the ABC affiliate in Austin and other news reports.
Pastor Jordan Brown apologized to Whole Foods, and dropped his lawsuit against them.  Whole Foods has accepted his apology and dropped their counter-suit.

I have to say I am impressed that Whole Foods stuck to their guns.  The fact that they chose to stand and fight speaks volumes as to the character of the company itself.  It would have been so much easier for them to simply cave in and settle.  I'm sure that's what Pastor Brown was counting on.

It's an auspicious day for freedom, dear reader.  Even the little victories count for something.

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