Saturday, January 9, 2016

Twits Resist Capitalism!

Trigger Warning:
All about the Washingtons, baby.
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I was hanging out on Twitter earlier today when I saw a few anti-capitalistic things scroll across my feed.  Of course being naturally curious I decided to do a Twitter search on "resist capitalism."  Lo and behold it was apparently a trending hashtag for a bit, with all sorts of twits tweeting out anti-capitalistic screeds.  I figured the whole thing was a bit of Leftist hysteria that would quickly fade out.

Strangely enough, though, the #ResistCapitalism craze only grew larger as I watched.  Men and women from all over the (very white, Western) world tweeted about how evil our materialistic society was.  They tweeted in their coffee shops, and from their university-mandated safe spaces.  They tweeted on their laptops, on their iPhones and iPads, and on their Samsung products.  They spent the evening decrying the evils of capitalism without any indication that anyone understood the concept of irony.

Naturally I was amused at the idea of all sorts of ignorant Leftists (but I repeat myself) using a massive communication tool created by a publicly traded company to denounce capitalism.  It seemed that yet another trip into the seedy, Leftist underbelly of Twitter was called for.  I didn't go looking for the economists that used fancy words that you could have a rational discussion with.  Oh no, I went for the college hipsters who would throw out some buzzwords without really understanding them.  I sought out the social justice warriors who would scream "RACIST" at the top of their lungs if you dared to challenge them.  In short, I went for the most hilarious tweets I could find.

Come, let's wade into the deep end of Twitter's cesspool together.
Yup, we'll start off with this one right here.  What rational discussion of capitalism doesn't need a racist caricature of the Jewish people?
So we have Donald Trump apparently eating a steak while...pushing away a stack of Oreos?  Is this a critique of Donald Trump, steak, or Oreos?  Is it only the capitalist pigs that are morally bankrupt enough to turn down the world's most dunkable cookie?  What the hell is going on here?
Is that like how rich and famous musician John Lennon asked us to imagine a world with no possessions?
  1.   Resist Capitalism!
  2. ....
  3. The earth is now healed!
Ah yes, we all remember those bastions of freedom.  Of course the USSR and East Germany aren't around anymore, but I'm sure we can ask the Russians and Germans if they liked those governments better.  As for Cuba and North Korea, well 100% of their people vote to keep their current rulers.  How bad can they be if literally everyone wants them?
Yup.  With some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
  Hell you'd have 900 million ways to resist it then.
Yeah, let's put government in charge of everything.  They seem pretty on the ball.
Huh.  I wonder why no one from Cuba is tweeting about how great it is down there?
Oh, anti-capitalist AND anti-Donald Trump.  It's like a BOGO sale!

Just try and square this:
With this:
Go ahead.  I fucking DARE you.
And here I thought it was to give women an equal voice in society and allow them to make their own choices.
Honey, if I don't wake up for my alarm clock I'm not going to wake up for you.
It's almost like they don't understand irony or how the world actually works.  Almost.

It's time to leave you all with one more tweet.  I think this one sums up the whole #resistcapitalism thing quite nicely.
Yup, that's about how this whole thing has worked.

Share your thoughts and comments below.  Or follow me on Twitter @trigwarnblog, or check out my Facebook page. 

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