If I Were a Liberal - Thoughts on Jimmy Carter

Trigger Warning:
We get to play the "What If" game.
Former president Jimmy Carter announced today that he is 100% cancer free.  That's surely good news for both Carter and his family.  I started thinking about what opinion I would have on this, if any, but that was boring.  Instead I decided to think about what I would think of former president Jimmy Carter if I were a liberal, and he were a Republican.

If I were a liberal I would vehemently disagree with former president Carter.  In fact the very mention of his name would probably send me into fits of rage.

If I were a liberal I would be aghast at the news of Jimmy Carter's cancer remission.  I would take to social media to express my disappointment that he avoided a long and painful death.

If I were a liberal I would pray fervently for his cancer to return.  This despite the fact that I am an atheist, and I obnoxiously mock everyone who has even a shred of faith.

If I were a liberal I might wish death upon President Carter's family.  After all why just insult the man when I can drag his entire clan into my hate-filled delusions.

If I were a liberal, and a movie producer, I might make a film about President Carter being assassinated.  It would represent the fulfillment of my darkest fantasies.

If I were a liberal I would compare President Carter to history's worst monsters, such as Hitler and Stalin.  I would make up posters depicting him dressed in Nazi regalia, and bring them to whatever protest I happened to be attending.

If I were a liberal I would wish all of these hateful things on former President Carter, and more.  Why would I do this, you ask?  Simply because he disagrees with my deepest held beliefs...and that makes him completely and utterly evil.

Luckily, though, I'm not a liberal.  I am simply a conservative, and as a conservative I will celebrate former President Carter's recovery, and wish him many more years of life.

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