Thursday, December 31, 2015

Be Afraid of California's AB 1014

Trigger Warning:
California in 2016?
"It's possibly prohibiting lawful gun owners their Second Amendment right," said Ben Moran the general manager of Second Amendment Sports.
A person's firearms could be taken away for 21 days if someone can prove to a judge that person poses a threat.
"Poses an immediate and present danger of causing personal danger to himself, herself or another," said attorney Emily Taylor.
However some gun owners fear the law could be used improperly.
"People hold grudges, it could be a family member that just doesn't like you and doesn't like guns and could hold that against them," Moran said.
Honestly, Californians need to be more worried about this than they actually are.  What you essentially have with A.B. 1014 is a law that allows the authorities to take away a person's constitutional rights without any due process.  It's true that there is a hearing that needs to be conducted before a temporary gun violence restraining order can be issued.  It's also true that evidence needs to be presented at this hearing.  However, the big sticking point with this law is the accused is not present while this is happening.  The accused is not even so much as TOLD that there will be a hearing that determines whether or not their second amendment rights will be taken away.  The only time the accused is involved in the process is when the police literally show up at their doorstep to serve the order and take their guns away.

How anyone can think that a law that would take away a person's right to due process AND their right to face their accuser is a good idea is beyond me.  The potential for abuse in this law is laughably high.  What's to stop someone with an ax to grind from making things up and accusing someone out of spite?  Sure there's a provision that makes it a crime to lie at one of these proceedings, but how much of a deterrent is that going to be?  Additionally, the turnaround for one of these temporary gun violence restraining orders is supposed to be a day at most.  How much investigation can really be done in that amount of time?  I'd wager that most people who make false accusations under this law would get away with it.

A.B. 1014 is an absolutely horrible law with terrible implications for all Americans.  California, and the rest of the country, needs to wake up and realize what's going on.  Otherwise we all may find our constitutional rights being taken away by this and similar pieces of legislation.

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Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Twits Hate Trump - Trump Lives

Trigger Warning:
I'm here to kick Hillary's ass and chew bubble gum...and I'm all out of bubble gum.
Donald Trump ignited controversy last week when he stated that Hillary Clinton got "schlonged" in the 2008 primary race.  Of course the Internet, the media, and Hillary immediately responded with cries of "ERMAHGER, SEXISM!"
Ermahgerd, sexism!
Of course it turned out that the term "schlonged" had been used in exactly the way Donald Trump had used it.  The media just decided by and large to ignore that little factoid, but for the most part the controversy fizzled out within a few days.  I took to Twitter to find out if the twits' hatred of Donald Trump had increased exponentially with the whole "Schlongedgate" thing.  Turns out, they didn't really mind it all that much.  

This time, though, has to be different.  This time I'm delving deeper into Twitter than I ever have in search of some raw, uncensored Donald Trump hate.  Let's see what we find.
Shh!  No one tell him Islam is a religion, not a race!
Donald Trump LITERALLY has a plan to exterminate Jews?  LITERALLY?  I must have missed that part of, you know, ANY of his campaign rallies.  Would someone be so kind as to provide a link in the comments to Donald Trump's "Final Solution?"
Leave Britney alone!
 Also, what? 
Oh come on, you're not even trying there.  You're supposed to have something CLEVER like a vine or a picture or a gif.
You hate Donald Trump mace yourself?  Pretty sure that's mace.
If only he were a suave rapist like, say, Bill Clinton.

I think I'll leave you with one more tweet.  It's not a hate tweet, but it does sum up the "I Hate Donald Trump" mentality quite nicely.
On point.  I doubt half these people could tell you why exactly they hate Donald Trump.  You'd probably get something like "He's racist/sexist/homophobic/etc" whenever you asked.

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FYI California Starts Confiscating Guns Jan. 1

Trigger Warning:
January 1, 2016. Get ready, folks.
Hey guys, remember when liberals laughed at conservatives' concerns that the sledgehammer of government to take our guns away from us?  "No one's coming to take your guns away," they told us.  Liberals assured us that gun confiscation was the last thing on their collective minds.

Surprise, surprise, liberals are full of crap.  A.B. 1014, a bill signed into law by California governor Jerry Brown, goes into effect on January 1, 2016.  Yes, A.B. 1014 allows the government to confiscate someone's guns based on the flimsiest of pretexts:
Under the new law, a restraining order could be issued without prior knowledge of the person. In other words, a judge could issue the order without ever hearing from the person in question, if there are reasonable grounds to believe the person is a threat based on accounts from the family and police.
“The law gives us a vehicle to cause the person to surrender their weapons, to have a time out, if you will,” said Los Angeles Police Department Assistant Chief Michael Moore. “It allows further examination of the person’s mental state.”
After three weeks, the person can challenge the judge’s decision.
“It’s a short duration and it allows for due process,” Moore said.
In a nutshell A.B. 1014 allows for the creation of a "temporary gun violence restraining order."  What that means is an individual can be barred from owning or possessing a firearm or ammunition if there's an immediate danger that the individual might harm themselves or others.  A temporary gun violence restraining order can also be issued if an individual might harm themselves or others at some point in the future.  California Legislative Information has the full text of A.B. 1014 on their website.  The first two paragraphs essentially go into a little more detail than I did.

What are the criteria for a judge signing off on a gun violence restraining order?  Essentially the threat that someone at some point MIGHT use a gun to harm others.  LAPD Assistant Chief Michael Moore likens the whole thing to a domestic violence restraining order.  The problem is that there is literally no expounding upon this criteria anywhere in the bill.  It's essentially left to the judgement of law enforcement officers, or the testimony of family members to determine if someone might use a gun to harm others.

Oh yes, folks, immediate family members can request a gun violence restraining order against you.  When that happens there's a hearing where a judge listens to evidence presented by the immediate family members, law enforcement, one else.  The subject of the order does not have to be present.  The subject of the order does not have to be notified of a hearing against them.  In fact there's only two times where the subject of the order is involved-when the cops come to collect their guns, and at the end of the temporary gun violence restraining order where there's a hearing.  That means the subject has zero chance to face their accuser until AFTER the penalty has already been levied against them.

Now let's talk about how all of this is supposedly "temporary."  It's true that the initial order lasts 21 days.  However the temporary gun violence order can be extended for up to a year.  This time, though, the accused gets to be there.  That's just about the absolute smallest nod possible to the concept of due process.

A.B. 1014 is an absolute monstrosity that is essentially a liberal gun control fanatic's wet dream.  It allows California law enforcement to make an end run around the second amendment.  The law allows the court to literally revoke an individual's basic, constitutional rights for a period of time based on nothing more than what that person might do in the future.  The wording of A.B. 1014 is insanely vague, and the potential for abuse is high.  What's worse is that the subject of the restraining order may not find out about until the cops are LITERALLY at the door to confiscate their guns.

Anyone who doesn't think this law is going to be used and abused is either a complete and utter moron, or a damn liar.  New York passed a similar law in 2014 after the Sandy Hook massacre that allowed authorities to take the guns of anyone who was mentally ill and deemed too dangerous to have a gun.  There were a whopping 34,500 names on their list, and that law was a bit more specific than the California one.

Let's take a hypothetical.  Suppose you're Joe Schmoe, and average California citizen who owns guns for protection/hunting/etc.  You consider yourself to be a patriotic American, you are a registered Republican after all.  Then one day you decide to attend a TEA Party rally in your hometown.  You have fun, you take some selfies, and you post them on Facebook.  Unfortunately for you, your very liberal mother-in-law sees the photos.  She doesn't like that, not one bit.  In fact, dear old mother-in-law finds those teabaggers to be very dangerous indeed, and she worries that you might take your anti-government rhetoric to the next level.  So your mother-in-law goes down to the courthouse, and petitions for a temporary gun violence restraining order.  Naturally the presiding judge is just as liberal as your mother-in-law (it IS California after all), and finds enough cause to grant the order.  The next morning you're awakened to a fully armed team of police officers at your door demanding you turn over your guns.  All of this has happened without your knowledge, and you had zero chance to defend yourself.

Sound far-fetched?  Perhaps, but never underestimate the ability of liberals to use the law to get exactly what they want.  Liberals will use A.B. 1014 and other laws like it to wilfully violate the second amendment rights of the citizens.  They will do it with a smile, and then pat themselves on the back for finally taking decisive steps to prevent gun violence.

Brace yourselves, Californians.  Liberals quite literally are coming to take your guns away from you.

Read the entire text of A.B. 1014 here: Assembly Bill no. 1014
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Tuesday, December 29, 2015

CNN Asks if Bill Clinton "Just Loves Women"

Trigger Warning:
"Bill's not sexist, I swear.  He just really loves women.  Often, and sometimes against their will."
Donald Trump has once again ignited his weekly firestorm of controversy.  CNN reports that Donald Trump on Monday warned Hillary against playing the "War on Women" card
Donald Trump on Monday again warned Hillary Clinton against attempting to use "the woman's card" on him, a day after he accused the former secretary of state of unfairly trading on her gender. Trump's latest brushback follows his Sunday labeling of Bill Clinton "fair game" as the former president prepares to hit the trail next week to campaign for his wife.
"With all of her past and her past dealings and, frankly, she's been involved in it with her husband as much as anybody, for her to be discussing that I think is out of bounds and I've let them know that," Trump said during an interview on Radio Iowa. "Probably maybe more so than anybody I know she shouldn't be discussing that."
Oh damn.  Of course this comes after Hillary Clinton indirectly accused Donald Trump of being a bully in one of her Iowa campaign stops.  It's worth noting that Donald Trump accused Hillary Clinton of purposely staging the question asked by the little girl during her event. 

It would seem that Donald Trump intends to make Bill Clinton's past sexual conduct an issue in this campaign, especially since Bill is gearing up to hit the campaign trail for his wife next week.  CNN anchor Deborah Feyerick took to the airwaves Monday morning to ask a rather pointed question of former president Bill Clinton:
What?  WHAT???  I'm sorry did Feyerick just ask if Bill Clinton was sexist, or if he just really likes women?
Yes, Deborah, Bill Clinton DOES like women.  He REALLY likes women.  In fact, one could say Bill Clinton loves women.  Often, and many times without their consent.  If Bill Clinton was anyone else except Bill Clinton he would be recognized for the serial rapist that he is.  If Bill Clinton was anyone else he would be spending the rest of his life rotting away in a federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison.
Err...might not want to do that, actually...
The blog Illinois Review published a list of Bill Clinton's many, many accusers over the years.  Just in case you feel like my perceptions of Bill are colored by my conservatism, here's a few of the lowlights from that list:
  • Juanita Broaddrick (AR)- rape
  • Eileen Wellstone (Oxford) - rape
  • Elizabeth Ward Gracen - rape - quid pro quo, post incident intimidation
  • Regina Hopper Blakely - "forced himself on her, biting, bruising her"
  • Kathleen Willey (WH) - sexual assault, intimidations, threats
  • Sandra Allen James (DC) - sexual assault
Oh, and Hillary Clinton isn't the poor, suffering, cheated on wife that she's been painted as in the media, by the way.  Hillary knew full well exactly what her husband was doing.  In fact, Hillary Clinton even went so far as to intimidate accusers into keeping quiet:
Hillary has at least lashed out verbally against the star attractions in her husband's sexual trophy case. 
She called former White House intern Monica Lewinsky a 'narcissistic loony toon' during private conversations with longtime confidant Diane Blair, according to Blair's private papers released by the University of Arkansas after her death.
Gennifer Flowers, another Clinton affair, was 'trailer trash' according to Hillary.
And Juanita Broaddrick, whose claim that Bill Clinton raped her and left her with a bloody lip is the most damning claim to date, has said Hillary threatened her in person just two weeks after she broke her silence.
 Bill Clinton is a liar and a serial rapist.  Hillary Clinton helped cover up her husband's crimes.  Now Hillary wants to accuse Donald Trump of being a sexist bully?  I'm sorry, but Donald Trump is absolutely right.  Bill Clinton is fair game, and Americans need to be reminded of just how loathsome a human being he actually is.

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Broken - Part 2 - A Short Story

Hope everyone enjoyed part 1 of "Broken."  Click here if you missed Part 1 and want to catch up before you take a look at Part 2.  Let me know what you think in the comments below, but remember it's a (very) rough draft that I haven't touched up yet.  So if something doesn't make sense just roll with it.

Broken - Part 2

A rush of sound.  That was the first thing that Melody noticed.  It was as if someone had taken every shrill note ever made, and amplified it tenfold.  The noise didn’t just surround her, it rocked Melody to her core.  Melody’s head pounded, and her vision swam.  It was impossible to focus on anything but the din all around her.  Melody noticed her breathing had become a series of ragged, gasping sobs.  The world tumbled and spun all around her.  It was all Melody could do to keep from screaming.

Melody could feel the madness brought on by the relentless noise pulling at her.  It was as if someone had tied a lead weight to her feet, and thrown her into the ocean.  Melody knew her mind would be lost if she didn’t regain control of herself.  She visualized the chaos as a mighty storm swirling all around her.  Melody stood at the center of the vortex-a lonely island of sanity in a world gone mad.  Once she was centered, she began the monumental task of regaining her faculties.

Melody’s first step was her breathing.  She forced herself to slow down and take deep, cleansing breaths.  In and out.  In and out.  Melody’s lungs burned fiercely with the effort, and her eyes began to water.  Darkness nibbled around the edges of Melody’s impaired vision, and she struggled to keep from blacking out.  Gradually, however, breathing became easier.  Melody’s chest ached less and less with each breath, and the darkness that had threatened to overwhelm her retreated.  The storm around her slowed.

The only thing Melody could hear since opening her eyes was the cacophony around her.  It was as if trumpets were constantly blaring in her ears.  Her head felt like it was splitting open like a ripe melon, and the entire world tumbled end over end.  Melody pictured the sound as the mighty winds of the hurricane roaring all around her.  She visualized the winds slowing and quieting.  Melody noticed the din quieting as she did so.  The winds of the storm died down, and the noise around her gradually subsided.  The world ceased its tumbling, and the pain relaxed its vise-like grip around Melody’s head.

The storm around Melody had almost abated, but darkness still clouded her vision.  Melody imagined the blue sky that was hidden by the clouds.  She focused on the sun that was obscured by them.  Melody visualized thin strands of blue interwoven with the rapidly clearing clouds.  Her mind’s eye saw the sun shining through the breaks in the clouds.  Gradually, the clouds cleared completely.  Melody could see the blue sky and feel the sun shine on her face.  She had stepped back from the abyss, and regained control of herself.  Melody opened her eyes.

Darkness was the first thing Melody noticed.  Not the darkness that had threatened her sanity moments before, but darkness nonetheless.  There were pinpricks of light shining through her vision.  She could hear sounds as well, though they seemed distant.  She heard her own breathing, steady and constant.  Melody heard voices as well; two women-one older, one younger.  She also heard a constant, high pitched cry, almost like...a baby.

A sudden realization hit Melody with all the force of a sledgehammer.  She was still in the paper sack; she was still in the room.  The old woman must have set her down somewhere.  The screaming she was hearing was the baby.  They were all still alive.  How could that be?  Melody vividly remembered killing the two women.  She could still hear their cries of terror as she butchered them.  She still felt the splash of their warm blood on her fur.  Melody recalled with horror the hatred she had felt for the little baby.  Melody had stabbed her through the heart.  How was it possible they were all still alive?

With a start Melody noticed something that she hadn’t before.  The sickness that had overcome her earlier had disappeared.  Melody knew then exactly what had happened-she had touched the beast’s mind.  She had felt its hatred and bloodlust-had nearly been overwhelmed by it.  The slaughter of the family had been a vision of the beast’s desires projected into Melody’s mind, and her subconscious had put her in place of the beast.  That she had been so profoundly affected spoke to the sheer power of this particular beast.  Melody knew that the baby could sense the beast’s presence, and she suspected that the parents were being affected by its aura as well-although they would have no idea what was going on.  She shuddered when she thought of the psychic pain that poor little person had to endure.

Blinding light suddenly flooded Melody’s vision as the old woman opened the bag.  Melody was still recovering from the havoc the beast had wrought on her psyche, and she found herself screwing her eyes shut as tightly as possible to keep the pain at bay.  She felt the sensation of being picked up and carried.  Melody attempted to open her eyes again, but winced as the light set her head to pounding once more.  

Melody didn’t remember being set down anywhere, but the next sensation she had was that of lying down on a cushion.  Strangely enough the pounding headache she had developed had all but disappeared.  Melody had also noticed that the ever-present crying had stopped.  Melody opened her eyes, and found herself face to face with the source of the unholy racket.

The baby was small-smaller than Melody, in fact-yet for Melody she was the biggest thing in the room.  The little one had a presence, an energy that seemed to fill every corner of the room.  Melody found herself completely unable to look away from the little pink bundle.  The most striking feature, however, were the baby’s eyes.  Bluer than the deepest blue, brighter than the brightest day, Melody was completely transfixed.  The baby, for her part, stared unblinking into Melody’s eyes.  Melody felt as if the little one was peering straight into her very soul.  She saw none of the pain or anguish that had caused the little one to screech so loudly, only a deep, unabashed curiosity.  Love as well was there, Melody noticed.  A deep, unabiding love; unafraid and unashamed, it was unconditional.  Melody felt like she was drowning.  The crazy part was she never wanted it to end.

Melody felt something gently, but firmly grasp her paw.  She tore herself away from the baby’s gaze and saw that the little one had taken hold of her.  There was a sudden jolt of electricity at the contact, almost as if a spark had passed between the bear and the child.  Melody noticed a wave of warmth that started at her paw, and moved rapidly upward.  The warmth exploded in her chest.  Melody was shocked at the sudden intensity of the sensation.

Melody looked back into Lily’s eyes.  Lily.  That was the child’s name.  Melody didn’t know how she knew, only that she did.  In that moment Melody felt a bond forming between the two of them.  As Melody gazed into Lily’s eyes she knew that she loved this child absolutely.  Melody would always be there for Lily.  She would always pick Lily up when she was down.  She would always comfort her when she was scared or heartbroken.  More importantly, Melody would always protect Lily.  Never again would Lily know the terror that she had lived with since birth.  Never again would she need to fear for her body or soul.  Not while Melody was around.  The instant that bond was formed Melody knew that she would fight for Lily.  She would always fight for Lily.  She would kill for Lily.  As Lily smiled sleepily at Melody and closed her eyes, Melody knew one thing with absolute and complete certainty.

She would die for Lily.

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Monday, December 28, 2015

Colleges Give Snowflakes Free Massages

Trigger Warning:
Happy ending not included...or is it?
College can be a very stressful time for freshmen.  You've got exams, deadlines, school cafeteria food, and the lingering feeling that your roommate is selling their prescription anti-depressants out of your dorm room.  Things can get pretty overwhelming for students pretty quickly.  The LA Times shows us just how stressed today's college freshmen are feeling:
In recent studies, college students report they are under more stress than ever — and that anxiety is a main culprit for their academic struggles. Only about half of incoming freshmen reported a high level of emotional health, the lowest rate ever, according to a recent study. The number of students who said they were frequently depressed rose from 6% in 2009 to 9.5%, according to an annual survey of more than 153,000 freshmen by UCLA's Higher Education Research Institute.
Fair enough, I suppose, especially in today's economy.  Not only do students have all of the classic stress faced with just getting through their first year, they also have to face the fact that their future job prospects suck ass, to use the technical term.

So what are colleges doing to help students cope with the extreme stress they're feeling?  Oh, you know, the usual-counseling, peer mentoring, massages.  Wait, what?
 Colleges are attempting to do more to help, though, with stress-reducing activities such as massage therapy and yoga to soothe psyches. Wide-eyed freshmen can usually be relied upon to take advantage of the aid, often more so than upper-division students, many school officials said.
Uh...okay.  Look, I'm going to go for a little stroll down "Back In My Day" lane for a quick second.  I was a college student at one time.  I was stressed as hell, especially during the first year.  One particularly fun example was when I wrote a 30 page paper in about 2 weeks.  You know what I didn't get?  Massages, puppies, yoga, hell safe spaces in general.  It's great that colleges are trying to help out their students instead of just throwing them to the wolves, but I mean come on.  All of these methods are just going to be a band aid to get them through the temporary stress of finals week.  None of it is going to teach these kids long-lasting stress management techniques.

Let's say for argument's sake that these kids head out into the real world and actually get jobs.  New jobs are just as stressful as the first year of college.  More so, in fact, because you have the added pressure of having to work as hard as you can to be able to do things like live in something other than a cardboard box.  That's stressful as hell, especially if your new job happens to take you into a brand new city where you have absolutely no support group.  What's going to happen to these kids when they face termination if they don't meet an important deadline?  They're going to completely crumble if their response to stress has always been a free massage or puppy room provided to them by their school.

Like I said, it's great that colleges are doing more to help their students, but we need to teach them how to effectively deal with their stress.  Yes, colleges absolutely need to have a hand in this.  Put some peer-mentoring programs in place where juniors and seniors can help walk the freshmen through their first year.  Have counselors readily available that are trained in teaching effective stress management techniques.  Hell, do some nightly stress workshops and peer groups.

Really, though, this kind of thing needs to start earlier than the first year of college.  High school is the place that's supposed to prepare kids for college, right?  Let's fucking prepare them.  Have a few classes on managing stress, or even just a class teaching kids just what to expect that first year of college.  Bring in some older college students to talk to the younger kids about how to deal with the stress they're going to face that first year.  We won't have to worry about stressed out students wanting massages if we teach them how to be effective college students before they even get to college.

We owe it to our kids to make this happen.  Let's get them ready for college before they get there; not a week before their first finals.

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Broken - Part 1 - A Short Story

 In case you missed it, a few days ago I posted a review of the first issue of a horror e-zine called The Necromancer.  In addition to being an amateur political raconteur (gah, too many French words!) I also consider myself to be a bit of a writer.  I figured now was as good a time as any to post a (very) rough draft of a little short story I wrote myself.  Take a look and let me know what you think in the comments below.  Just keep in mind it's a (very) rough draft that I haven't had the time to touch up at all.  Enjoy!

Broken - Part 1
Six hours.

Kelly stared at the clock as she trudged around the nursery for the 100th time.  The little pink bundle in her hand squealed at the top of its lungs.

It’s been six hours.

Kelly placed her daughter into her bassinet and collapsed into the rocker.  Lily was barely a month old, but already she was proving to be more than a handful.  She had started out a happy, quiet baby, but as she got older she became more and more difficult to deal with.  Hours of screaming, which only ended when she became too exhausted to cry, were becoming more and more common.  Nothing Kelly or her husband did seemed to help.  Lily’s pediatrician had said she was just colicky, and he assured Kelly that she would grow out of it-in about six or seven months.  That fact was of little comfort at the moment.  

Kelly gazed at the bassinet and listened to her little girl scream louder.  She was at the end of her rope.  Kelly hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in weeks, and her health was starting to suffer for it.  She couldn’t eat, could barely think, and would often break down sobbing uncontrollably.  The anti-depressants her doctor had prescribed did little to help.  Kelly couldn’t help but feel like she was the worst mother in the world.

Kelly didn’t remember getting up, but suddenly she found herself standing next to Lily’s bassinet.  Lily continued screaming.  Kelly wondered if she’d ever stop.  She could make her stop, though.  It would be so easy.  One or two quick shakes is all it would take.  The screaming would stop, and Kelly would finally be able to rest.  Just a little shake.  So simple.

Kelly shook her head, banishing the horrible thought as she did so.  How could she even think about doing something like that?  Lily was her only child, the best thing she had going for her?  What kind of monster was she?  The realization of what she had almost done hit her like a sledgehammer.  Kelly broke down sobbing.

“Hello, Kelly dear!  Are you up there?”

The sound of her mother’s voice brought Kelly back to her senses.  The door to the nursery opened, and Kelly’s mother walked in, a small paper bag under her arm.  Kelly ran into her mother’s arms and sobbed into her shoulder.

“Kelly, honey, what’s wrong? Is everything okay?”

Kelly shook her head as Lily continued screaming.  Kelly’s mother held her daughter tight, stroking her hair as she shushed into her ear.

“There, there, honey.  Everything’s going to be all right.  I know being a brand new mom is tough-I was one once too, you know.  Things might seem bad now, but just remember tomorrow’s a new day, and everything passes.”

Kelly’s mother held her daughter’s face in her hands and gazed into her eyes.

“And remember, baby, you’re a damn good mother.  Just remember that, and you’ll be just fine.  Understand?”

Kelly nodded as her mother wiped away her tears.  Kelly’s mother smiled and kissed her on the forehead.

“Now, let’s see if we can’t make our little Lilybean feel better, okay?”

Kelly’s mother walked over to the bassinet and scooped Lily into her arms.  She began rocking and singing to Lily.  Lily, however, was having none of it, and continued to scream.  

“I’ve tried everything, mom,” Kelly sniffed.  “I just don’t know what’s wrong with her.”

“Oh you were twice as bad,” Kelly’s mother smiled.  “Hell I couldn’t get you to stop crying for almost two months.  I brought something that might help, though.”

Kelly’s mother rummaged around in the sack, and pulled out a pink teddy bear.  The bear’s fur was flat and dulled with age.  Tiny musical notes competed with poorly repaired rents and tears for space on the bear’s body.  Kelly eyed the ancient bear with distaste.

“What the hell is that?”

“It’s my old Magic Melody Bear.  My mom gave it to me when I was little.  I figured it might help calm Lily down.  Besides, every kid needs a teddy bear.”

Kelly’s mother placed a still-screaming Lily back in the bassinet.  She laid the bear down next to Lily.  Lily's hand bumped against the bear's nose, and she immediately latched on.  Her cries began to soften, and after a few seconds stopped altogether as Lily drifted off to sleep.

"Oh my God," Kelly gasped quietly.  "I don't believe it!"

"I thought that might help," Kelly's mother smiled. "Now you go and get some rest, dear. I'll stay and watch her."

*  *  *
Melody couldn't see anything, but she knew she was being carried somewhere.  The sack the old woman had put her in was dark, cramped, and smelled vaguely of mothballs.  Melody knew they were on their way to see the woman's granddaughter - she had said as much - but Melody didn't like not being able to see where she was going.  Going into any situation cold always made things more difficult.

Melody heard a door open, and heard the old woman call out.  She also heard something else; a high pitched, urgent screaming.  That had to be the granddaughter.  Melody also sensed something else, something dark, and hungry.  No wonder the little one was so upset - there was a beast somewhere nearby.

Another door opened, and a massive wave of revulsion washed over Melody.  Anger, fear, hatred, every negative emotion she had ever felt was brought to the fore and magnified.  Melody’s stomach churned.  Her breathing became rapid and shallow as her eyes began to water.  The world started to spin, and Melody shut her eyes, and begged it to stop.  Her head began to pound-a rhythmic thump thump thump.  Melody knew what was causing it.  Those fucking humans out there.  The old woman, the younger one, and the baby.  Especially the goddamn baby.  Melody’s eyes snapped open, a red haze obscured her vision.  She knew what she had to do.

She had to kill every one of them.


Melody’s sword had found its way into her paw.  She didn’t remember drawing it, but right now she didn’t care.  A quick slice opened the bag.  Another slice took the old woman’s hand with it.  Blood geysered out from the stump, a puddle rapidly forming where the old woman stood.

Thump, thump

Everything was happening in slow motion.  Melody hit the ground rolling.  She came up with her shotgun cocked, locked, and ready to rock.  Melody leveled the weapon at the old woman’s head.  The old woman stood staring dumbly at the stump where her hand was.  She was still staring as the blast from Melody’s shotgun took her face off.  Blood and bits of bone and brain sprayed the ceiling.

Thump, thump, thump

Melody turned to the young woman.  She stood next to the bassinet screaming in sheer terror.  The second blast from Melody’s shotgun caught her square in the leg.  The lower half of her leg flew across the room as the young woman tumbled to the floor.  Melody charged, a feral cry escaping her throat.  Melody jumped on top of the woman’s chest, and drew her blade across the woman’s neck.  Blood fountained from the woman’s ruined throat.  The only noise the woman could make was a horrible gagging sound as her hands struggled in vain to close her wound.  Melody left the woman to bleed out, and turned towards the bassinet.

The baby.

Thump, thump, thump, thump

Gore stained Melody’s once pink fur, growing sticky as it dried.  She vaulted up onto the edge of the bassinet.  The baby was screaming at the top of its lungs.  Each shriek sliced through Melody like a knife.  She noticed her head was pounding in time with the baby’s heartbeat.


Melody hopped into the bassinet and stood over the baby.  This was it.  This was the source of her pain.  That shrieking little lump of flesh.  Such an ugly fucking thing, so weak and pitiful.  She was going to put an end to this, right fucking now.


Melody stood over the mewling little thing.  The world around her melted away until all she could see was the baby; all she could hear were its panicked cries.  Melody raised her sword, closed her eyes, and-screaming-drove the tip towards the baby’s heart.


Stay tuned for Broken - Part 2.

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A.F. Branco - Tough Choice

Here's another political cartoon straight from Legal Insurrection's A.F. Branco:
Hillary Clinton once asked people "wouldn't you rather have a woman president?"  Yes, Hillary, we would LOVE to have a woman president.  Just not you.

Not now, not ever.

Original Post: What Is Wrong With This Picture?

Check out some other Branco political cartoons from earlier this month:

A.F. Branco - Me-Tivity
A.F. Branco - Hillary's Safe Space
A.F. Branco - Farce Wars
A.F. Branco - Who We Are
A.F. Branco - Globull Warming
A.F. Branco - Obama the Gambler

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Sunday, December 27, 2015

What? Trigger Warnings Now Too Violent

 Trigger Warning:
Confused much?
The humble trigger warning has been used for several years by feminists and lefties of all stripes.  The original purpose was ostensibly to warn people that a post or article contained content that might be upsetting to some people. Sort of like the "viewer discretion is advised" warning that comes on cable TV.  
Rated R for "Retarded."
Of course lefties being lefties, they've used the trigger Warning as a method of censoring content they disagree with (here's a link if you're wondering what I think about trigger warnings).  Students at Columbia University, for example, called for trigger warnings after they were "forced" to read Ovid's "Metamorphoses"Feminist writer Christina Hoff Sommers was hit with trigger warnings when she spoke at Georgetown.  There are many more examples, but the theme is always the same.  Fascist kiddies get a bug up their collective asses about something, and demand trigger warnings to protect them from the ensuing "microaggressions."

It seems, however, that the very phrase "trigger warning" has itself become...err...triggering?  Worry not if you're confused, because the blog Everyday Feminists clear up  your trigger warning confusion
Editors Note: Like this phenomenal article, Everyday Feminism definitely believes in giving people a heads up about material that might provoke our reader’s trauma. However, we use the phrase “content warning” instead of “trigger warning,” as the word “trigger” relies on and evokes violent weaponry imagery. This could be re-traumatizing for folks who have suffered military, police, and other forms of violence. So, while warnings are so necessary and the points in this article are right on, we strongly encourage the term “content warning” instead of “trigger warning.”
Wow.  I have no words here.  I mean seriously, what has the world come to when the phrase you use to warn people about violent imagery can no longer be used BECAUSE IT EVOKES VIOLENT IMAGERY?  Do these people even realize how freaking ridiculous this whole concept is?  If you were to write a sitcom episode with this very same plot it would be rejected as being utterly and completely stupid.

The really insane part of this whole thing?  Everyday Feminism tells you that they're swapping out "trigger warning" for "content warning" because it's safer.  Yet in the very same warning they use the word "trigger" several times.  Hell the entire article talks about "trigger warnings."  If you're trying to make the point that "trigger warning" is needlessly violent and should not be used, why the hell would you post an old article where that phrase shows up CONSTANTLY?  Isn't that a little inconsiderate and, dare I say, dangerous for folks that might be "triggered?"

Oh, shit, I said "triggered" didn't I?  Shit, I just said it again!  Sorry, folks, sorry.

H/T Katherine Timpf at National Review: The Phrase "Trigger Warning" Is Now Also A Trigger

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Saturday, December 26, 2015

A.F. Branco - The Me-tivity

It's an oldie but a goodie from Legal Insurrection's A.F. Branco:

I mean of course Obama's the most important thing.  After all, isn't he the one who said his election marked the moment the oceans began to recede?

Yes, yes he is:

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A.F. Branco - Hillary's Safe Space

Legal Insurrection's A.F. Branco gives us a little Christmas gift:
She just needs a safe space, people!  It's the only way she can protect herself from bullies like Donald Trump!

Original Post from Legal Insurrection: Branco Cartoon - CryBully

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Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Twits Hate Trump - A Schlong Too Far

Trigger Warning:
Picture "schlong" and "Hillary Clinton" and try to sleep tonight.
By now everyone knows about the "schlong heard round the world."  Donald Trump stated that Hillary Clinton "got schlonged" by Barack Obama in 2008.  Of course the mainstream media pounced on Donald Trump's statement because Donald Trump means big ratings.  The media is roundly and relentlessly criticizing Donald Trump's "schlong," of course.  How could they not?  Like I said Donald Trump gets them big ratings.  Donald Trump whipping out a schlong comment against Hillary Clinton must get even bigger ratings!

What do the people think, though?  Once again I've delved into the seedy underbelly of the Twitterverse to get some hardcore reactions to Donald Trump's schlong:

A hard-hitting pun that thrusts balls deep into the controversy.
Actually Politico has generously provided a list of past political schlongings.  It seems Donald Trump is nowhere near the only one throwing his schlong around:
While the expression is rare, it has in fact shown up in earlier political contexts, typically from New Yorkers like Trump. The Post notes that Neal Conan, host of NPR’s Talk of the Nation, said in a 2011 broadcast that the 1984 Democratic ticket of Walter Mondale and Geraldine Ferraro “went on to get schlonged at the polls.” And on Fox News in 2006, Dick Morris warned that President George W. Bush was “going to get schlonged” in the midterm elections.
  So Donald Trump apparently just whips out his little general and checks on it throughout the day apparently.

I see what you did there.

I can't tell if this is a hate tweet or a compliment.  I'm gonna go with yes.
Okay, so it's not exactly a hate tweet, but it's still pretty damn funny.
Again, not a Trump hate tweet, but still pretty damn funny.
Bam.  Nice one.  Let's see if this guy's got one more for the road.
I gotta admit, the dude's pretty clever.

You might notice this little slice of Twitterverse hate is a bit thin.  It was actually extremely hard to find some decent hate tweets related to Donald Trump's schlong.  Most of the tweets I found were either approving, bashing Hillary Clinton, debunking the "no one uses a schlong that way" argument, or the same damn Salon article posted over and over again.  Does this mean that Trump's latest escapade has helped or hurt him?  Well the mainstream media and the GOP establishment is certainly hoping that Donald Trump's star is falling.  Lord knows they're afraid of him like they've never been afraid of anyone else before.

I don't think Donald Trump is schlonged just yet, though.

 Share your thoughts and comments below.  Or follow me on Twitter @trigwarnblog, or check out my Facebook page.

Chuck Schumer Has Shown His Hatred Of Americans

We know, Chuck... Chuck Schumer took a stand for illegal aliens this weekend. Schumer and his ilk followed through on their threat to s...