Thursday, November 12, 2015

Democrat Epic Crap Battle!

Trigger Warning:
Get ready for more phat beats, dawg!
All right, y'all we've had our GOP Epic Rap Battle.  It wouldn't be fair if we didn't shuffle on down to the other side of the aisle. So it's time to drop some more phat beats, with our Democrat...Epic...CRAP BATTLE!!!

What's that?  It's a rap battle?  Are you sure?  I could have sworn it was crap battle.  All right, well we'll go with it.

Aight yo, our first contestant comes to us from the streets of NYC.  Give it up for my bitch, Hillary Clinton, aka. The Motherfuckin Hill-dawg!
Uhh...okay, Hill.  It's 2015, the 2008 election was about 7 years ago.  You got anything that's, you know, a bit newer?

Oh you do!  Great.  Let's give Hill-dawg another shot with something a little funkier, and a little fresher.
Ugh, okay, someone's definitely stuck in the past.

All right let's get to our next contestant.  He's whiter than bread, and the former governor of Massachusetts.  Give it up for my main man M.C. M.O. Martin O'Malley!
What the fuck is that, Martin?  This is supposed to be a fucking rap battle.  You know, with music?  Put the damn wrapping paper away and show us what you got, bitch!
That's...that's great, Martin.  Really nice.

All right we're just going to move ahead to our last contestant.  He's loud, he's proud, he looks like Doc Brown.  Give it up for my boy Bernie Sanders!
Love the grill, Bernie.  Doesn't make you look crazy at all.

Well guys, I think we all know the winner of this little contest.  By default, tonight's winner is Bernie Motherfucking Sanders!

I'm gonna go take a shitload of pills and pass out.
Pills will make the pain go away.
Share your thoughts and comments below.  Or follow me on Twitter @trigwarnblog, or check out my Facebook page.

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